Top 10 Signs You Are No Longer Young, Restless, and Reformed

Sign #1: You've given up smoking your pipe because you want to actually be able to afford term life insurance.

Sign #2: Your 'Jonathan Edwards is My Homeboy' shirt is faded and now simply reads, 'Jonathan Edwards is My Home."

Sign #3: You now read your ESV Bible more than you read John Piper.

Sign #4: You've considered writing a book (for P&R rather than Crossway), Old, Well-Rested, and Reformed. [Copyright: Adam Parker, 2010] (You want the name, Collin Hansen!? Come back in 30 years and just try to get it!)

Sign #5: You find yourself warning newbies about 'the cage stage,' and then you find yourself reminiscing about terrorizing unsuspecting Arminians back in your day.

Sign #6: You actually know who Van Til is.

Sign #7: You have decided that is is okay to plod.

Sign #8: Your iPod now has more sermons by Sinclair Ferguson than it does of Mark Driscoll.

Sign #9: Drinking beer may still be a pleasure for you, but it isn't as cool as it used to be.

Sign #10: You just had your child baptized.

[What follows are the apocryphal signs, not to be confused with the top 10.]

Sign #11: Your Ty Pennington hairdo is starting to look less Pennington and more Luther.